First, take responsibility for your thoughts, your plans, your preconceptions. Any of these can be changed. No one can rule your mind but you. For instance, "I don't have a green thumb," is a thought not a fact. Good gardeners fail, over and over, but the difference is that they keep trying new plants, new techniques, new designs.

Planning, researching, wandering, visualizing - all these take time, a huge amount of time. But not nearly as much time as it takes to care for a poorly planned and poorly installed garden.

Second, take responsibility for your heart. Loving is instinctive, loving other people, loving nature, loving all the beauty we see around us. Just take a walk with a small child and you'll find that they see wonders in things we take for granted. "I love ice, I love ice, I love ice so much I want to marry it!" my daughter yelled as she stomped on the barely frozen puddles at the park.

As we grow older, we learn to love less, be less excited by the world, less enthusiastic, because when we love we become vulnerable and, many time, we get hurt. But a garden is safe place to be vulnerable. Even the small losses and griefs seem set in an ocean of beauty and joy.

Third, take responsibility for your actions, for working with focus, intention, care and enthusiasm. Without these, no garden will ever be a joy to its creator. If you hate weeding, why not hire help instead of buying a new coat? Or trade work parties with your neighbors?

Fourth, spend time in your garden doing nothing. Puttering. Wandering. Sitting. "Nothing" is often the crack in a hurried life through which joy trickles and seeps to become a thirst-quenching pool.